I am now in the quick change area at the backstage, just finished the Red Ball (the most difficult part for me in the ballet), waiting to do the Golden Ball in Act 3. There’s one difficult step in the Red Ball. Every time I get nervous about this step. Even though I worked on it for more than 3 months, I never feel perfectly confident with it.
Tonight was the first show, I was a little more nervous than usual, because no matter how well I used to do in the rehearsals during the past few months, the shows are what really matter. Much to my relieve, it went quite well.
Whenever there’s a difficult step like this, I tend to think about that day and night, worrying that I may not perfectly succeed. This makes the performances less enjoyable for me. There are 19 more performances to go. I should learn to be confident and to enjoy every moment on stage, with the live Chopin music, my all time favorite.