My first show in Bluebird at Opéra Basillte

Oh my God, I did it !!!!!

I danced my very first Bluebird pas de deux in Nureyev’s Sleeping Beauty tonight, on the stage of Opéra Bastille. A very important milestone for me… Not only because it’s one of the mythical roles in classical ballet—a role people often see me in—but also because I had a painful memory to erase.

A few years ago, I was chosen to perform this same Bluebird pas de deux at Opéra Garnier, during what they call the Soirée des Jeunes Danseurs. It’s a special evening designed to showcase young, rising dancers, giving them the unique opportunity to perform principal and soloist roles on the legendary stage of Palais Garnier.

I had two pieces to dance in that program: the Bluebird pas de deux, and Les Indomptés, a contemporary duet for two men by French choreographer Claude Brumachon. Although I really enjoyed learning and performing Les Indomptés, it’s an extremely physical piece, particularly hard on the neck. Bluebird, on the other hand, is one of the most technically and stamina-demanding pas de deux in the classical repertoire. Doing both on the same night was tough for the young dancer I was back then—especially because I didn’t yet know how to manage my energy and fatigue.

And then, one week before our Première, the other Bluebird cast was injured. Suddenly, I had to dance both casts, with different partners. At the first rehearsal in costumes, nothing worked… I realized how different it is to partner with costumes compared to rehearsing without them.

By the day of the Première, I was exhausted and underprepared. I was praying for everything to somehow work out miraculously… but it didn’t. I gave a very bad Bluebird performance in front of 2000 people at Palais Garnier. I tried my very best, but I simply couldn’t make it. Afterward, my coach told me to call him the next day. He said, “You looked like you were going to pass out on stage. Your partnering was very bad, and your technique in the variation and the coda was just as bad.” I was devastated. I had four more shows to do, and the Concours de Promotion was not far off…

That Bluebird performance cost me a lot of self-confidence. It was a little traumatic, to be honest. So when I saw I was going to dance Bluebird again this time, I promised myself I would do everything I could to overcome that past experience—to take this opportunity and rewrite the story. I felt this was an important step on my path. Something deep inside was waiting to be healed.

Tonight at Opéra Bastille, the scenario was surprisingly similar to last time. Just two weeks ago, I sprained my ankle. One week ago, my partner was changed. Tonight was only my second time dancing with her on stage and the first time with the tutu. As usual, I was very nervous in the days before the show… but maybe a little more this time. Still, I was determined. Determined to make it a better memory, to finally erase the last one.

And I think I did it.

It went okay!